Crashing into you
by rjt040190
Summary: After a mission had gone horribly wrong, Ressler's life was in danger. And instead of capturing the person who was on their radar, Liz and the team let her slip through their fingers. The blacklister escaped that fateful night, leaving Liz and the team with the consequences. Keenler!


**I do not own The Blacklist.**

 **Ressler. Liz. The FBI agent - The FBI profiler**

 **A/N:** Hi guys. Some more Keenler for you.

* * *

Their plan was solid, and everything was supposed to go smoothly. No one was supposed to get hurt!

The second Reddington, Samar and Liz walked out of the elevator, they began arguing with each other." You shouldn't have let him go after me! That was not part of the plan! And he wasn't even wearing his vest! You all knew that!" Liz shouted, as she clenched her hands into fists.

"You do not know what you're talking about." Samar replied calmly, as she inspected the cut on her arm.

"It wasn't her fault, Lizzie. I saw what happened.." Red said, as he tried to console Liz by putting a hand on her upper arm.

"Don't touch me. You were there too, you could have done something, Red." Liz hissed, as she threw daggers with her eyes at him.

At that, Red let out a laugh that made Liz totally loose it.

"Why? Why in the hell are you laughing? Huh? He is in surgery right now! We don't know if he will survive through the night! Why is this funny to you, Red?" she shouted, as she glared at the older man, her voice breaking, tears pooling in her sky blue eyes.

"Lizzie, listen to- " he began, but she cut him off.

"Don't call me that! I'm a grown woman, don't talk to me like I'm a little girl, cause I'm not!" She yelled, as her whole body shook from anger.

This was too much! Liz felt so powerless. And that was a feeling she hated the most; being powerless. At the moment, she wasn't able to do anything for Ress. God, she wished that she could have done something to prevent what had happened to him.

Samar felt guilty about what had happened, so she silently sat at her desk, not saying a thing.

"Liz, can you listen to me for a second?" Red asked, as he took a step towards her.

There she stood, in the middle of the office, her hands trembling and her body beyond tense.

"Liz, at that moment, nobody and I mean like literally nobody and _nothing in the world_ could have stopped him from running towards you. Even if we had tried. Am I being clear enough? Do you know what I mean with these words?" Red said, as he looked at her, his eyes locking on hers.

"She," Liz said and pointed at Samar, "She stood right next to Ressler." Liz replied coldly.

"Why are you being so stubborn, Liz? Well, OK let me put it in words that you will understand," Red began, but this time Samar cut him off.

"What he means to say is that Ressler didn't care about getting hurt himself. I tried to stop him, I already had him in my grip, but he fought me and ran towards you anyways. When he heard that you were out gunned, he didn't hesitate! He just went after you; his radio had a technical malfunction so he didn't hear that there were two agents already backing you up. At the time, he didn't think of himself; he _only_ thought about _you."_

As those words reached her ears, Liz felt like as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on her. At that, she shook her head slowly." No. That's not true." she whispered.

Samar threw her hands up in the air, and said." You two are partners; you work every single day, and the whole day with him. How can you be _so_ oblivious to the fact that he is in love with you?"

At that, Liz closed her eyes and let out a deep breath." You're so wrong about this. This can't be true. We're just partners and friends." she mumbled.

"She's right, Lizzie. And you know what the funny thing is? You feel the same way about him." Red simply said.

* * *

Pain... Oh God, the pain. In the distance, Ressler heard sounds… incoherent sounds. He did his very best to try to place those sounds, but with no success. He tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't. Where was he? He was surrounded by darkness and pain. It was also cold… so very cold. Why was it so cold?!

Those were the things Ressler felt, as he desperately tried to gasp for air. But it hurt so much to even breathe! God, it hurt. Once more, he tried to open his eyes and see, but something was holding him down. Some invisible force was keeping him in the dark. From afar he heard people shouting and he also felt hands on his chest and stomach. As their words reached his ears, he concentrated on listening what they were saying. But his mind wasn't able to do its job properly. To him, it seemed like they were talking gibberish.

As he gave up with attempting to open his eyes, he wrestled with his mind. What happened? How did he end up here, surrounded by darkness and pain?

As his mind brought him back in time, bit by bit he remembered. Oh God, Liz!

Now he was really determined to open his eyes. As his eyes fluttered open, Ressler was blinded by a very bright light and closed his eyes again. Suddenly he was able to hear clearly.

"He's alive! I really thought that we would lose him this time." he heard a man say.

As Ressler took a breath, he felt a familiar and oh so excruciating pain. And though the pain almost knocked him out, he managed to keep his eyes open.

He saw people in white coats and realized that he was in the hospital. He closed his eyes again and sucked in a deep breath. But the moment he did, he felt that gnawing pain in his chest and stomach. He was shot! Yes, now he remembers… before he lost consciousness, he felt the bullets that went through his body.

As a tear rolled down his cheeks, he gasped softly." Lizz… Elizabeth. Where is… I have to… protect… Lizz, I need to… protect her."

"Doctor Moore, the patient is awake! Sedate him now!" he heard a man shout.

"How in the… How is that possible?!..." the other doctor said, but was cut off by his colleague.

"Don't just stand there! Help the man! If you don't do as I say, I swear that I…" the man shouted.

"OK, OK. I'm doing it now." The doctor said hastily.

As Ressler opened his eyes again, he attempted once more to ask about his partner. He lay there in the hospital bed, not knowing what had happened to Liz. Was she OK? He had to know. " Liz… Elizabeth K… Keen, is she alright? Where… where is sh… she?"

He had his eyes open and was fully aware of his surroundings. Ressler grabbed the doctor's hand.

"Tell me… is she alive?"

As he felt a needle pierce his skin, he knew that he was being injected by the other doctor. Ressler felt himself slipping away into the darkness again. No! He can't go back there! He needed to know first if Liz was OK. Oh, God. Please, please let her be fine. Let her be alive. At that moment, Ressler wished that he had told her what he felt for her. He didn't know when it started, but one morning he woke up and realized that he didn't just had platonic feelings for her. That morning it dawned on him that his feelings for her had shifted from friendship to something more... Something complicated. And of course being his usual self, Ressler decided to tuck said feelings away.

He fought hard to stay aware of his surroundings, refusing to go back to the darkness and the unknown. He desperately fought to stay awake. He had to hold on, because of her- Liz...  
At the moment, Ressler frantically tried to stay conscious, but he felt himself slipping away. He wanted to stay here… for her.

* * *

Three days after their failed mission, Liz walked into the office and saw director Cooper walking towards her. He told her that the doctor had called and told him that Ressler had a very good chance. He was going to make it.

"I didn't have any doubts, Keen. Ressler is one strong guy. He's a fighter." her boss said, looking pleased.

At that, she nodded and replied." I- uhum, I'm going to see him. I wanna see for myself if he's really OK."

"Of course, Keen. You can go." Cooper said, and watched as Liz hastily walk towards the elevator.

(((())))

When Liz heard that Ressler was going to survive, all she wanted at that very moment was to go and see him. But as the hospital came into view, Liz felt so overwhelmed by emotions. She hadn't decided yet what she wanted to do about her feelings; she was so confused! So, with a huge lump in her throat, Liz walked inside his room. Ressler. He was lying in the hospital bed, so calmly and peacefully. At the moment, she felt her heart drop. It was him but not him at the same time. His lips were pale and so was his whole face. The tears were pooling in her eyes, but they didn't roll down her cheeks- yet. Liz grabbed a chair and took a seat next to his bed. She looked at his pale hand and had the urge to grab and hold it. But she didn't have the courage to do so. She was frightened, so frightened.

Instead, she watched him and kept praying for him to recover fast. Liz' eyes fluttered shut, as she thought about the night of the mission. The night when he ran towards her, and used himself as a shield against those flying bullets... Bullets who were actually intended for her.

She could try to deny it, but deep inside Liz knew that she and Ressler had made a connection some time ago. She may deny that to herself and to the world, but that doesn't change that fact.  
Liz wasn't married anymore, and after Audrey, Ressler was single also- but, they were partners! They were only partners! Right?

Liz shook those thoughts off, and decided to give it a rest. She quietly sat next to his bedside and studied the features of his face. Even though his face was pale, he still looked very handsome. She studied his hands and then looked at her own two hands. Compared to hers, his hand was so large. But despite the big difference, in her eyes her hand would fit perfectly in his.

Something told her to… to just grab his hand, but she was too afraid. And she knew exactly what she was afraid of. She was afraid to get hurt. God! She was so scared. Even though she knew that Ressler would never hurt her in any way. But still...

While Liz observed the man before her, her mind drifted off to another man. A man who had married, used and betrayed her. Now that she thought back, she couldn't understand why she didn't see right through Tom.

Liz shook that thought off, and decided to forget all about her ex. So, she looked at Ressler instead. Her eyes landed on his thick, blond locks. She imagined how soft they must feel if she ran her fingers through it. She looked at his strong jaw, his hollow cheeks and his full, but dry lips…

Suddenly her eyes welled up and she felt her anger rising. It hurt so much to see him like this. He was a good man! It wasn't right; it wasn't fair that this happened to him. Why did he do it? Why did he throw himself before her? Why did he use himself as a shield? Why? Huh?

"You're so stupid, Ress! Why did you do it? Those bullets were supposed to harm me! Not you! You're so stupid!" Liz said, and out of desperation she grabbed his hand, taking it in hers, intertwining their fingers. Her heart ached, because there was nothing she could do for him. Nothing!

As their fingers laced together, the tears that she had been holding back finally rolled down her cheeks. "You're so stupid, Ress!"  
At last… After three long days of bottling up her emotions, she finally let go of it all...

But suddenly it wasn't enough. Suddenly she also wanted to feel his hair on her fingertips. Must she? Was she bold enough to do that? Yes. And just as she was about to do so, someone knocked on the door, so she instantly pulled her hand back, unlocking their fingers.

Liz looked up and saw the person who rudely interrupted her. It was Reddington.

(((())))

It had been more than three and a half weeks since their mission went horribly wrong, and Ressler getting injured. Liz had been sitting next to his hospital bed these passed weeks. After her initial shock and the guilt, she didn't want to go to the hospital. But once she sat next to his bedside, she didn't want to leave him again. The first few nights, she didn't even want to go home to sleep. She wanted to stay with him- her partner.

Director Cooper practically had to force Liz to go home to get some proper rest. She finally did go home for a few hours, because Cooper threatened to suspend her. Plus, Samar promised to stay with him. But even after a warm shower and a few hours sleep in her own bed, she felt the emptiness in her heart. She felt empty and lonely. All she needed was for Ressler to wake up. He just had to do that one thing; then everything would be OK again. Just that one big thing, so that excruciating and gnawing feeling in her gut would disappear immediately.

In the meantime, Red tried to distract her by including her in other cases. But Liz refused and stubbornly sat near Ressler's hospital bed. They tried to help her get her mind off of him, but they failed miserably cause Liz was being her stubborn self. Her mind was set on Ressler's recovery.  
Ressler... Ress, Ress.

Without knowing it, he was totally and completely consuming her mind, and possibly her heart.

* * *

A/N: Like it? Tell me what you think.

:)

rjt040190


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